Getting a Groove

Good Morning. Scott and I are doing very well. We're really beginning to establish a groove with schoolwork, housework, jobs, etc. We had dinner last night with Eddie Gibbs. He's a professor at Fuller University (CA), and is an expert on Church Growth/Planting. It was a very fun conversation and a great dinner (Italian in Sewickely). Scott and I purchased a few of his books, and he graciously signed them for us. Here's his info from the Fuller Website if you're interested: http://www.fuller.edu/provost/faculty/dbsearch/final_record.asp?id=33
Tuesday we had Quiet Day. Quiet Day is when we, as a seminary, go away to a camp and simply be quiet. We began the day with Morning Prayer, and we ended the day with Eucharist/Communion/Lord's Supper. In between were 3 meditations by the Dean. It was very good. Scott and I have been learning a lot about Grace. Even though Paul Zahl (the previous Dean) is gone, he has definately impacted a lot of people here, who in turn, have impacted us. Bottom Line: God's Grace is amazing! He wants you as a love-sick boy wants the pretty girl down the street. He loves you as a parent loves their child. He loves you as the God of the Universe loves His creation. He loves you! It's very freeing to realize grace in this new way. Before it had always been, "Yeah, yeah, I'm justified by grace, blah, blah, blah. Bottom line, since I'm justified by grace I need to do good works." I never fully realized what grace really means. I've been reading Madelaine L'Engle's Circle of Quiet, inwhich she speaks of humility. She says when we try to be humble, we're actually being prideful and it becomes false humility. I think it's the same thing with grace and works. When we try to do works out of grace, we end up just doing works while losing grace (at least I did). I'm not sure if I'm explaining it quite right. Really, what has really stuck with me from Quiet Day on Tuesday was that I'm Free to Fail. Before (and still now-- I need a lot of reminders), I tried so hard to be a good Christian, to draw people to God, to be who I was supposed to be, in essence to do everything right and "by the book." What would happen is I would simply feel wretched and sinful, never good enough and always messing up. Now my paradigm has shifted and I've accepted that it's ok to mess up miserably. It's ok to fail, and God's gonna love me just the same for it. Praise God!
I want to leave you all with the freedom to fail, the freedom to mess up miserably and the freedom to live fully in the saving grace of our Lord, Jesus Christ.